he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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