i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
