Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize