I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
