I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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