I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
