what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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