I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
