I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
