i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am one with the molecules
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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