so that wasnt chicken after all
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
