2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
