No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
