Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
