We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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