Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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