i don't like sucking hair
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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