The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
