I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize