So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
