So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
