Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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