if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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