Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
