pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.