I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I know where his drugs are but not my pants