Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
