I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
