I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When are your genitals available?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
