I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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