Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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