no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
