Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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