Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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