I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
