i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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