hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
