it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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