Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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