I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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