are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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