apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize