32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
