I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm really busy with my period
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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