real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize