I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
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You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
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My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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