You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
