u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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