just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I supernannyed him into submission
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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