i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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