i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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