I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
