Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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