that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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