So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
