that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
