Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When are your genitals available?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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