Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
